I read this yesterday? I think but I didn't have time to respond...I completley understand where your coming from. I feel the same way. My T and I actually had a session last week on this.
It's hard, I know...and I still struggle with it but my T did try & make it more logical to me but still...lol. It goes completley back n forth back n forth. 'ohhh T cares so much look at what he did, but then ohhh wait he only cares cause he's getting paid...how much or does he REALLY care'. Ugh it's like an endless battle it seems sometimes!

I hope you can work through this with your T. I really really understand how your feelig and your most Defitnely not alone. ) hugs!