So. Here's my rule: if I think about other people and "what they'll think" or if what I am doing will have some sort of effect on them (of any kind), I don't get to do any self-harm. Of course, I aim not to do it at all. If I think of them, wonder what they'll say, etc., then I know I'm not doing it because I really need it but because it's all tangled up with emotional needs I have that I want them to fulfill. If it's truly a private thing, ain't nobody's bus'ness but my own. No ********.