I am a writer and artist. There are two sides as people have been mentioning. I used to write great short stories, wrote a novel, and be expressive in multicolored poems. It's lucky if I can even squeeze out a poem any more. Writing intimidates me. Of course, before starting meds I was too depressed to write anything as well. This started in spring of 2008. I'm no longer severely depressed, but it feels like my creativity has dried up. It makes me feel like a failure and the meds seem to be a friend and an enemy at the same time. Can't live with them, can't live without...

All my focus now that I'm stable is on finishing my bachelor's degree in June. My major is in art. So I have required expression and I seem to do okay. Not nearly as great as I used to be, but then, I don't want to slip back into nearly catatonic depression. I'm thinking of weaning myself off my meds this summer, but then if things go terribly wrong I wonder if I'll go back to being incapacitated by my moods. And I'm trying to get into an MFA program. I so wish I was hypomanic again. My moods go from average to depressed, not high anymore.

All this to say, as for many others, the tradeoff is difficult, but you gotta do what you gotta do to survive.