Hypo, depressed, mixed, it's a bit hard for parse out because there are different versions of my irritability and rage. Which are very distinct from one another. But here's my best take on my particular experience of it... I'd say hypo, it's an impatience thing. I can get really pissy, shoot off verbally and want to have a real go at 'em. But it's more of an overconfidence feel to it most of the time. Hypo can be good, bad or both for me.

Depressed, it's more of a "just get away from me FFS!!!" It's more in the grumpy realm, because I just don't have the energy to spend, it's more like swatting them away. Already crushingly overwhelmed w/o having to deal with people. Either type can bring extreme annoyance at the stupidest things.

Sometimes the above types reach levels that would probably be described as rage. By others. And they pretty well are. BUT.

Warning: Rage described below. Possibly triggering. (Not towards others, if that helps you decide whether to proceed or not.)

Full-on rage, for me, goes waaaaay beyond either of these. It has an entirely different feel than either of the above. A switch flips/lightning bolt strike and I launch with unbearable amounts of energy and self-loathing. Indescribably unbearable. Usually, it's directed at no one but myself. It's hard for me to say for sure what happens (it seems there are parts I black out on), but maybe it's that being verbal takes too much focus/cognitive organization(?) Some verbal action in the form of screaming, but not much in the way of words. In the worst ones, definite violence. Lots of throwing. Things and myself. Yeah, myself. Like I said above, it's really not about other people. I'm consumed and overwhelmed internally and I want out. Mind and body. Too consumed to be aware others even exist. Nonetheless, they keep their distance. They must be frightening to behold. This thought of course mortifies me. The really bad ones don't happen all that often and definitely less since medication. TG, because they're indescribably excruciating to experience. (Had a really bad one happen last week for the first time in a long time, so it's still pretty fresh in mind. Which helped in trying to describe it here.) I don't really consider these a mixed episode, despite the simultaneous experience of both extremes. They are much much shorter than the officially definining time parameters for starters. There is NO WAY the state of intensity I tried to describe could sustain for anywhere even near that kind of time. NO way. Even as short as they are, they are freaking exhausting. I've had mixed states that go on for awhile, and as gawdawful as they are, they don't even approach the excruciating intensity of these. Whatever you want to call them, they are launches into complete personal meltdowns.

Definitely the very worst experiences of my life. Damn mortifying as well. I've only just begun to be able to (extremely selectively) talk about them at all in real life. Because in those times there would be no debate whatsoever that I completely lose control of my mind.