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time0 said:
What I wrote in this post is just another thing he does to put on top of all the others that he do.

No, the flowers doesn't take away the pain, doesn't blind me. I know when the flowers will die, also will come the other blow. A circle.

I have one reason to stay with him and one only.

I'm trying to understand his behavior. Trying to see if it's my fault. Trying to change things so maybe he will stop doing this. Just trying and I do try and try.

Thank you!

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I know we are worlds and life-time's apart but I feel very close to you right now. Your post above was why I married my first husband. I believed somehow that I could change him, that I could understand. I believed I could make a difference, or see if it was my fault. I knew when we got married that something wasn't quite right. But I believed, above all else ... that I could fix it. I couldn't. I didn't. I blamed myself for years. The guilt was indescribable. The hurt much worse.

My head told me things for years. It was only when my heart and head "met", that I let him go. I did not want to, but I knew that I had to. It was one of the most traumatic and painful "events" in my life. And it brought me to my knees. I thought it was the end. But I survived.

I think that is enough about me ... but I do need to say why I understand what you wrote so well. Your reasons (except for those I don't know) are what mine were. I thought I could try. And try I did. Almost to my death.

Time, I truly empathize with you right now. And you will know what to do.... when you are ready. And it will hurt ... but you will know!

You are enduring so much hurt ... that you do not need to. My heart goes out to you.

I feel that I understand a little more now, after this last post of yours. I have been through this. Please, please ... pm me if you would like ... my thoughts, love and very gentle hugs are with you.