Thanks.
I don't think I can go and see a therapist to be honest. I've struggled with emotions for so long and reached as low points as I am now, if not lower. And if I can't go to see a therapist after about 8 years of not feeling happy, I don't know if I'll ever be able to.

I just am so torn at the moment. He's such a good friend, but I can't see him as anything more. Whether that's due to not being able to think about relationships after the summer's events, or whether it's because I just don't like him in that way, I'm not sure.
But whatever the case is, I feel things are going to be awkward between us.
I already feel that things are being like that, seeing as he hasn't replied to me today when I said "hi" even though he was online (although I do realise that he might need time to deal with me saying that I don't like him as more than a close friend).

This just feels so horrible. xxx