Lee,
Thank you for the kind response. Before the affair happened I had always judged people so harshly on having affairs and could never under any circumstances see how someone could do something like that to the person they love. So thank you for not being cruel and for not pointing out the obvious, that what I did was wrong.
Yes we have talked about going to couples therapy. We dont see how we can fix something like this when we have so much emotions wrapped up into it so therefore a third party needs to be invovled to help us on this long journey. Yes I do need help in finding out why it happened in the first place because as much time as I have thought about it I simply cant come up with a reason. And your right if I dont find out why I did it whats going to stop it from happening again? (Besides the fact that I truly did hurt one of the most important people in my life that cares more about me then anyone, the suffering and pain I put him through is unbearable to think about) Thank you again for your kind words I really appreciate it.
Tonnie