Ali, not everyone who was abused ever abused someone else (it's estimated that about one third do), but almost every abuser had their own abuse history.

You're asking lots of complicated questions. I think you would get a lot out of reading "The Emotional Incest Syndrome" by Patricia Love. (I think I have that title and author right, but let me know if you don't find it and I'll look it up). That book might answer a lot of your questions and help you know how to break the cycle as well as understand your mother and why she did some of those things. At the least she sounds very intrusive, and you were hurt by it.

Best wishes to you,
Rap