I know how you feel. I've been stable for years and wonder who I am now. I'd describe myself as a doormat. That's very odd for this die-hard feminist. I'm weaning myself off of my antipsychotic to see how I do. Depression has always been the bigger issue for me. My manias were fun. I'm not fun anymore. So I've been on half my dosage for about two weeks, and aside from some awful withdrawal symptoms, I'm still stable. When I see my doc in 2 weeks I'm going to ask him to cut it in half again and see how I do.