When I was in a 12step group they were heavy on resentments. I nearly killed myself trying to find goodness in everyone, now? I hold a grudge for a while, why? Because I'm human and when hurt to protect myself a grudge gives me the time to work it all through. Once I'm ready, and this happens in its own time, the grudge goes the person concerned means little to me. If I think their worth understanding I will try, if I think they lack any ability to be able to have their own insights then I waste no more time on them. I am not saintly and do not go through live being understanding to everyone, some really are not worthy of it so move on to those that are. Simpledotcom. Those that preach forgiveness I have found to be the least forgiving.