But about half way through... things changed.

It started when she did something with me called "heartmath". Before we began, she told me that I had to uncross my legs and put them flat on the floor. Then she told me that the reason I was crossing my legs is that "it's a defense mechanism."

This annoyed me, because she had talked to me for maybe 20 minutes, and thinks she knows my defense mechanisms? Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, folks.

So, heartmath was this guided mediation thing, and she kept talking about leaving my headspace and going to my heartspace, rambling on about how there were more neurons in your heart than in your head... I thought it sounded really pseduo-sciency, and when I was done with it, I told her so.

So then we got into a bit of a debate about fetal heart monitors (because that was her "scientific proof" because it was all "Evidence based" (her two favorite phrases in the English Language, apparently...) and I started telling her how that was sort of not convincing to me, because there's been research done showing that fetal heart monitors, while great at identifying some problems, have a LOT of false positives and tons of women get unnecessary C-Sections every year because of them.

Anyway, I could see this was getting us nowhere so I changed the subject. (Isn't that HER job, not mine? And, incidentally, I looked up heartmath, and I can't find much to support it, but I found more than one article refuting it.)

So she tells me that a lot of people have "misnomers about DBT", and I start smirking, because that's not what misnomer means. I think she meant misconception. So she asks what I'm laughing at, and I try to be nice, and I say, "Isn't a misnomer when something is named badly? Like those gumball trees that really make spiky seeds?" And she says, "yes." and just looks at me for a minute and goes, "Are you correcting my English?" And I say, laughing, trying not to be mean or too serious, "Yeah, I guess I am."

And then SHE crosses HER legs and rolls her eyes and says, "That's fine. I'm not mad. You can correct my english."

And I look at her and say, (because screw it, she did it to me,) "Is that why you're crossing your legs? A defense mechanism? And rolling your eyes? Because your not mad?"

At this point she completely lost control of the session by lying to me.

She goes, "I'm not mad. I'm mirroring you. Ask [T], he does it to you too."

At this point I am PISSED. She's straight up lying to me, and she thinks she knows my T and how he works?

So I say, "No, he doesn't mirror me. He always sits in the same way, (and I describe how he sits and mimic it) and I tell her about the tapping he always does with his right foot and how he always wears black shoes on Mondays and brown ones on Wednesdays."