Definitely not. You know, bipolar is weird because it comes and goes. Everything else I have is constant. My tics and OCD and hair-pulling and ADHD I deal with every single day, so it's a constant reminder that I have it. It's indisputable. Even though it's much better on meds, I still have some tics, hair-pulling, OCD, and ADHD symptoms every single day. So I never question the diagnosis. I never feel like a fake.

But bipolar. Well, when you're in the midst of an episode you usually don't even realize anything is wrong (at least I don't). It's only in hindsight that I realize I was not behaving like myself. And because the episode is always IN THE PAST, by the time I realize I had an episode, the episode is OVER. And I think I'm cured, or that the last episode was just a one-off or that maybe it wasn't as bad as I remember it. I think maybe I'm making it seem worse than it was in my mind. And because I'm on meds now, longer and longer time passes since my last major episodes My memories of my last episode get fuzzier and fuzzier, and I question my diagnosis even more. I forget how strangely I was thinking and feeling during my last episode.

I have actually thought of coming off my meds to see if I have another episode just to prove to myself and to my parents that I really am bipolar.

One thing that helps me is to keep a list of the crap I've bought during manic episodes, and the thousands of dollars I've spent on that junk (and how quickly I bought it all). That's an objective, tangible thing I can look back on and think "yeah, I really am bipolar." I also remember that I've failed a course and lost a job due to this disease. And that I called the cops because I thought my classmate was going to bring a gun to school. Keeping a list of all the crazy **** I've done while manic and everything I've lost helps put my illness in perspective, and reminds me that yes -- I really am ill. I'm not a fake.