I've had extreme anxiety for as far back as I can remember...I believe what started my decent into oblivion was when I learned I was adopted but then it was reinforced even more when I was 9 years old. I had quite a shock (trauma). My pre-teen and teenage years were horribly painful and nerve-wracking.

I remember having/showing symptoms when I was at least 9 that I was super-anxious and reacting a certain way and even more so, to stressful situations, etc. but my father ignored it and my mother was horrible to me. In fact, I had long, beautiful hair and in a fit of anger, my mother took me to the barber shop and had the man chop it all off I felt like I lost my identity.

I was able to keep it together to a point in public (although I had extreme anxiety and worry in high school and missed many days of class when I felt super anxious. I "hid" when I felt super-bad). At home, it was awful. My parents just thought I was a difficult/horrible kid. Especially my mother.

It wasn't until 2004 or so that I had my first full-blown anxiety attack (where I thought I was having a MI). I was at work, and I was too embarrassed to tell anyone I thought I was having an MI (or even feeling ill), so I drove myself to the ER. Thankfully, it wasn't a major cardiac incident, but it was terrifying. The doctor told me after doing all the tests I had an anxiety/panic attack. After that, I had them off and on for years (incapacitating and I was exhausted after) I remember one really bad one while on holiday in Southern Baja Mexico

Everything has been piling up for years to the point to where I was literally down for the count. I did not have any coping skills left that worked. The anxiety turned into agoraphobia, social anxiety, no self worth, deep depression, etc.

I found my T and discovered cPTSD. I am gaining tools and am now learning ways to cope in a healthy manner - and to surround myself with supportive, loving, non-judgmental people. We are just in the beginning stages of unraveling everything.

I hope this was helpful!