Hey there. I'm so sorry for what's going on with you and your man.

Since you are having such a bad depression, I strongly suggest that you put off making ANY big decisions right now. Don't explain anything else to him, and for now just let this go. I hope you get the help you need!

As for being in your 30's - remember that age has NOTHING to do with wisdom. I have SO learned this the hard way. I dated a 47 year-old man that lived with his parents!