You have NOTHING to feel guilty about. He's using you and your money, and is disrespecting you at that. You're at your wits end, and he's so wrapped up in getting drunk that I'm sure you feel he doesn't care about you.

As a former drug-addict, I can understand what is going on with him. Something is wrong, and he's numbing himself. Or trying to. That does NOT excuse how he treats you. You matter, and it looks like you might need to go to a few more meetings before making such a huge decision.

But please remember - it's not your fault! You didn't make him this way. You have NOTHING to feel guilty about. And don't let him take his anger out on you. If you're afraid - even for a moment - then get away!