It is like when you have a wound you don't fully medicate and take care of...yeah it will scar over the wound. But it doesn't heal properly.
You wait several years....seeming like forever...for me 24 years! And, you realize it never truly healed, so you rip it open. All the stench and puss ooze out of it. It smells. It hurts more now then you could remember. It takes your very breath away.
But, you try to remember you are re-opening the wound in order to properly have it healed this time. Cleanse all the gunk out and then feel better and more alive then ever before.
Damn though, if right now the stench is overpowering and the pain is so overwhelming.

But, how else can I really heal from the abuse if I don't do this???