{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Dexter}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

I'm going to attempt to respond to this even though I have had a horrible attitude all day, and I usually avoid answering posts when I am this way because I'm afraid it will come out all wrong. So I hope I can manage this and please understand just in case, know what I mean?

Life is hard. Life with depression is harder. We ought to be able to count on our friends, but if we count on that, we will be disappointed. Depression makes you see all the times that you can't count on them anyway, and overlook the times when they come through. It makes it hard to follow through with what we know we really need to be doing in order to get better or just to live life. I'm sorry that you have been having such a hard time, and I know that you are trying. One of the best things you are doing is helping other people even while you are struggling yourself. You are really a wonderful person.

What I see you needing to do is make yourself focus on the things you need to do, one small step at a time. You don't have to jump in and start trying to find a job right now, but if you would apply for vocational rehabilitation that would indicate your desire to be working again when you can. You would have one more somebody on your side to encourage you and help you find some direction. They would not push you to get back into the swing of things before you are ready. In fact, I went through voc. rehab and I got frustrated that they went so slow - I wanted to be doing something and they didn't feel like it was time for that yet.

Even though it is hard, keep trying to recruit people who can help you, even if it is friends on-line, but hopefully you can find someone in 3-D too.

Can you spend 15 minutes per day on your bills? Set a timer so you know that you can stop when it goes off. Also set a timer and work on your home for 15 minutes, or even 5. Just as you can. The thing about mental health is nobody can pull you out and fix everything - you have to do the work yourself, even when it is hard.

I hope that things start looking up for you very soon.
Wendy

<font color=orange>"They accused us of suppressing freedom of expression. This was a lie and we could not let them publish it." ... from the Director of Censorship...

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