...I know the feeling. I feel that just by existing and being the way I am, I mess everything up. Even the people who really love me - I can't even make them happy. It's awful. Being rejected after you've honestly done your best - that's a huge hit.

I don't think you're unlovable. But there aren't very many people who have what it takes to stay with us. The intensity, the accusations and cognitive distortions, the seeming loss of all reason (to them, anyway), the inconsistencies and fluctuations in us - all these things batter them and make the relationship seem untenable. Me, and maybe a lot of people here, are more like, "So it's stormy. And?" We definitely don't feel the same way about it. I can take A LOT in any relationship I have before I throw in the towel. But I've found that "normal" people don't have that kind of endurance and tenacity, and in fact, it seems completely alien to them. You know, the idea of sticking around when there's an uproar.

I've been losing people like crazy the last two years. I can't hold onto them for anything.