I'm hateful towards my family and it feels like a hot rash that's destroying my own self love but I don't know how to stop it.
I can't get up from beneathe them-I feel like I'm suffercating under their weight. I can't break the surface and I really need to get a breath.
How can they be doing this to me? I feed, shelter and take care of myself and they live miles away. I know, I know-I'm letting them do it to me and I'm in control of my own whatever.....that's all very nice in a tidy little package but what exactly does it mean?
I'm so tired of this. When will I be good enough to stop being the last on the tatum pole? When will I be respected?
I don't want to be better then anybody else-I just don't want to be not as good as everybody else.