First of all, they turned me down for social assistance help because I was getting to much from Employment Insurance. I make 724.00 a month.

So that was fine, I understood.

Let me tell you too how sick it makes me when i remind myself that my citys social assistance rate for a single person is as follows-

Table of Basic Needs

Shelter Allowance
Family Size Rent or Own Home Board
1 $285 $222
2 $550 $242
3+ $600 $282

Personal Assistance
Shelter Situation Adult Dependent Child

rent, own home, board
$190 $133 $190
in hospital 30 days
or more -$105
Not prescribed $105
in a residential rehabilitation program $81
Not prescribed $81

How do people live off of this amount? That is a disgusting amount. It really irks me.

The other thing i wanted help with them was the Pharmacare program. It basically gives you drug coverage and you simply pay a 5.00 copay.

Well they told me that I make too much to get help with that. I would have to basically make less than 475.00 or have my medications exceed the 475.00 +the rest of whatever I make.

I mean, my medications dont get me wrong are expensive. I take effexor XR, Toridol, Ativan, Clonazepam, and I have a steroid nasal spray, puffers, and birth control which I cannot take right now as I do not have the money.

As of tomorrow I am out of effexor, the most crucial one, again. I have been having to buy it 7 days at a time, paying the 7.99 filling fee each time as I cant afford to buy it in large amounts. I am sure the pharmacy loves this as they make 7.99 off me every week but it is sucking me dry.

I am so frustrated by all of this. I am going to go and have to beg my doctor for meds tomorrow and if he doesnt have any, then I dont know what I am going to do. Im depressed about the whole thing and the shoddy state of our welfare system is making me upset too. So upset I cannot sleep to be honest. I am still awake and, Well, I just dont know what to do. I've had since March 18th off work to recover as I was slipping into dissociation and breaking down again.

I have spent this whole time stressing about money and getting worse. Arguing with my job over whether I deserved a leave of absence. having my EI delayed 7 weeks and having creditors harass me and cut me off because of it. Arguing with social assistance because I "make too much". Worrying about where my next medication is going to come from. Worrying because I can't afford to see a private psychiatrist and therefore have to wait huge amounts of time before I see one. Feeling like I have to do something drastic for anyone to pay any damned attention(dont worry, I dont mean the s word I just mean I have to be extremely upset).Mostly, I feel like my mental health and social services are letting me slip through the cracks when I am supposed to be well. I am NOT ready to go back to work on june 17th, I know it is going to spiral me right back down, yet I do not see that I have any real choice here do I?

I didnt know where to post this so I just posted it in general.

Feeling left out, knocked down, and dragged out,

Mandie