Dear T,

I'm sorry I keep shutting down. Please don't get frustrated with me. I don't know what's wrong with me. Maybe I don't want to get better. Maybe I just want to be with you. I can't seem to open up and talk about things because when I walk into your office, everything goes away and I have nothing to talk about. I want to contact you so badly right now, but I don't know why. I don't know what I need. Comfort, I guess. Reassurance. Love. Touch. I feel unlovable and unacceptable. Part of me wants to SI right now. I haven't done that in days/weeks. I know better, right? What to do, T? What to do..