I don't think you're at all to blame...he was wrong to do that. No man should ever, EVER, lay a hand on a woman...at least as I see it. I don't think you did anything wrong. I think you were mature in wanting to resolve things civilly, and I think he was very wrong for calling you whatever name he did...I don't like the way he treated you during this.

That being said, this isn't your fault. I don't think you should feel that way, and hard as it is, please try not to let this bother you. Based on what you've posted about yourself, you've got too much positive about yourself to let this get you down.

I am very glad that you've found a friend to talk to about this. Know we are all here for you, and we're all in your corner.