In my case, what was done to me (or, not done as the case may be) was done out of selfishness. My mother had a good life. A loving husband who was needy and who she could control. She was spoiled by 5 older siblings who she could manipulate to give her things. She was never thankful; always greedy. She had loving parents and a fun childhood that she never wanted to end.

I was treated as a puppet who she could use to buy her things. In reality, I was not the child she wanted. I was not good looking and she told me I was ugly. I was gay and she was embarassed for herself. I could be the obedient child she wanted but I was not what she wanted and she pushed me away. She did not want any of her children - all sons - to marry. We were to be her property. There was no advice, no encouragement to date or have friends. She repeatedly told me she was brilliant. That she could do whatever she wanted and we still had to love her because she was our mother. All that mattered was mom. She told me her problems but did not want to hear mine. PLEASE STOP MAKING EXCUSES FOR HER.

As for me, there is no cure. Psychotherapy has not helped. It has not helped at all. It strings me along each week hoping to get better and I never do. I only end up more depressed.