I don't know how to feel. I have a bunch of friends I used to hang out with a lot at one post-secondary. Within the last two years, I went through a lot of changes in my life. Starting September 2010 to January 2011, I switched to another school and went through a big crashing in all aspects of my life.

January 2011 to December 2011, I took a leave from school and used that year to try to regain myself. Trying to take one day at a time.

Now, from January 2012 to today, I have returned back to school and I find I'm still struggling but things are more tolerable now.

I found out that my room mate is hanging out with my friends at my original first post-secondary online every now ever since I introduced her to them on Steam in October of last year.

She jokes around with them, plays games with them online and everything.

When she retells me the events that happened between her and the gang, it makes me feel really jealous, angry and then just... depressed.

They don't talk to me often anymore. I tried to talk to them online but most of the time they just don't respond. When she talks to them, they respond immediately with excitement and news about their life.

They talk for hours and hours on end. It makes me feel really bad and stupid and lame. All rolled into a big fat ****ing blob.

I usually don't have time because of school (full-time), projects, my part-time jobs, appointments I have with my family and for those times I feel super depressed or suicidal.

My room mate doesn't have a job and doesn't go to school. She's been unemployed since last year in June. Her parents is our landlord so she's pretty stocked in the rent/food department.

I tried setting up days to hang out with them. Last spring break, I tried making a hang out day but it was too last moment and I was booked more shifts from both jobs I have. Last winter break, I made a hang out day for everyone too but I got pneumonia so everyone went but me.

I want to have friends. I feel like at the school I am now, it's hard to make friends because everyone is so competitive and that within itself overwhelms me.

I just don't know what to do. How to feel. It's like, no matter how hard I try... I won't be enough.