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I went through that, too, but now -- a year and a lot of pounds later -- while I still have a lot of the feelings about being fat and ugly, I can tell you that what you're experiencing DOES pass.
It won't take too much longer for the worst of it to pass, either. The best thing you can do, though, to make it pass faster, is to eat consistently, and work towards gaining some more weight. It really won't be as bad as it feels right now. Somehow, gaining the first 15 pounds was much worse than gaining the remaining 35 for me.
Good luck.
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There is no heroic poem in the world but is at bottom a biography, the life of a man; also, it may be said there is no life of a man, faithfully recorded, but is a heroic poem of its sort, rhymed or unrhymed.
Thomas Carlyle in essay on Sir Walter Scott
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