yes i am on antidepressants and still in the process of adjusting meds and doses to find something that works.

this guy definitely DOES have the capacity to feel and understand on many levels. he understand the illness, he is compassionate and caring (that's what attracted him to me in the first place) and he is known by everyone to be one of the most kind and sensitive and giving people around. where he "fails" is in trying to figure out what to do. he assumes and acts wrong even when i tell him specifically otherwise. i think staying out of contact with me is very hard for him to do and i think it hurts him but he does it because he thinks i want him to leave me alone. maybe this time it got through because instead of just telling him about my expectations i really opened up and told him how hurtful his actions are to me, even though they are with good intentions. i think he responded to that. i can't keep making the effort to keep explaining this to him though. if we drift again it is going to have to be him to try to open the door i can't put up with the pain anymore. i told him that too and so far he has stayed in contact and seems to understand. we will have to rebuild trust for each other through. i am willing because he is a special person and i would like to have him as a friend, but we have to rebuild that friendship again and the majority of my efforst are in other areas right now.

-- The world is what we make of it --
-- Dave
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