I don't feel I deserve being depressed but sometimes I wonder if I go behind the diagnosis only to hide... I can't do/feel/be this or that 'cause I am depressed..
On the other hand: right now I think most of my (quite little) energy goes in acting that everything is okay... I am so fed up explaining what it means to be depressed: I've been already over 10 years retired due that reason and it seems that most of the closest (=nearest..) people can't believe that this is something which is not soing away! I have bad days and worse days and those I regret I ever got out of bed... Some very few days are okay, but to be happy... laughing and at that... I can't remember when I was that way the last time!