You know, before I went through the trama that presented me with so much loss and I couldn't take it? I was ok in my family, I learned my place and how to let things slide somehow. But this? the way I was treated when I was stricken with PTSD, that is what flipped it all around. Ignorance is bliss? Hmmm it was for me I guess, because now?, Well, I can't do what I used to be able to do, too much meanness now, why?, because somehow I needed could not just give somehow. What a dam rude awakening. I could have lived out my days just dealing with it like I was, now, too much has shown me reality. Reality?, yes about them and even my own weaknesses. I thought I was smart enough or maybe I had just learned the lesson of "Just accept people for what they are" and I thought that was what things in life were all about. I remember my mother telling me that constantly, but she was just like me, the giver and server and just did her best to put up with it.

Honestly, I really wish this never happened, not at this time in my life. Learning about all of this now is pretty hard to swallow if you ask me. I certainly can't change them, and I am trying my hardest to figure out how to change the fact that now, I can't even be around them without getting extremely ill.

Sometimes if think, ignorance is bliss.

Open Eyes