He wouldn't want that, Alex--would he? You can't be with him, but I'm surprised you can't sense his spirit still with you.

Have you been able to make contact with any of the grief groups?

I'm so sad for you. One of our members mentioned Ruben to me just this morning. It's still impossible to take in. What are you doing, Alex? Do you have someone at school or somewhere who understands how alone you feel? Someone you can be with in the empty times?

* gentle hugs galore *

Roadie