I knew it was going to happen tonight. Many of you may remember that I used to see my former T around town. I knew I was going to a function where I would see her and I thought "what if they put us at the same table? That would be cool; I would sit next to her". Well, they did, and I did! When she was my T, we never were at the same table.

It was fine. I felt very comfortable just talking to her. My friend, who knows my situation, told me afterward how pleased she was and we just looked "normal" together. It was a nice sort of closure. I didn't think of all she used to know about me, all of my secrets.

So, I am wondering. Am I only comfortable with her now that she's not my T any more? I assume that's the reason. I used to panic when I'd see her in public though I learned to act more or less normal with her.

I was also thinking that now, while I am in therapy with my T, I would be okay if she and I happened to be in the same circumstance. It won't happen though; my path does not cross my T's like with my former T. But if it did, I don't have that "she's a stranger feeling" with my T. She and have hugged, held hands, sat on the couch together, emailed, done meditation together, taken walks together. It's so different for me than it was with my other T. This T is there with me, and I like that. If she were somewhere with her H or kids, I'd probably stare at them, but if she were next to me at a table, I'd be okay.

I just wanted to write this out and share it, as an interesting observation.