I just spent the last hour in bed cowering under the blankets imagining (not hallucinating) dead people grabbing me and chasing me around the house and imagining being sent to the psych ward again in the middle of the night and begging the nurses not to medicate me and being trapped in the room again in the dark while I am suffering from my hallucinations. While I'm trying to go to sleep.

I think I might have to sleep with the lights on for the first time in who knows how long, or perhaps stay up all night. I hate when I do this but now it's worse because my imaginary fears crossed with fears of relapsing and having to go back to the hospital again. I wish I had someone I could sleep with who could comfort me.

Has anyone ever get the feeling you get after watching a scary movie and you can't help but imagine all the scary things that can come after you while you're trying to go to sleep? But I didn't watch a scary movie, I wasn't thinking about anything scary until I tried to go to sleep. I don't think i did anything different today: took my meds on time, ate three meals, didn't drink coffee or alcohol...Does anyone know why this happens, or what I can do to stop myself from thinking about scary things when I'm trying to sleep?