Back when I first started talking to a T, she asked me about my friends. I was only able to name three friends. One is an ex-boy friend who has his own problems-probation, no job, over active sex drive, etc. He has a life crises on a regular basis. "So and so won't talk to me. But, she will date this guy who never bathes. I must be trash. Why is he better than me?" He doesn't seem to do much to change things. I almost never talk to the other friend in another state because my ex-boyfriend calls me every night. I talk to my last friend once and a while. I tell my ex-boyfriend that I am having trouble sleeping and would like to be able to not get a phone call around 9:30 PM. I realize that his life sucks like mine. But, why call me and complain to me when he has a counselor that he can complain to. He doesn't seem to ever talk to his counselor. He just sees the Pdoc for the drug to reduce his sex drive. He tells me that the counselor doesn't help him get a wife so he doesn't want to talk to him. A wife will fix his life, not.
I find that I don't even know how to approach people and ask to hang out with them. I have never ask a fellow church member, co-worker or classmate to hang out with me. I keep thinking about trying with a fellow church member. But, she has a mental health issue and her boyfriend has been having some drinking problems. They sometimes ask for money for things that I don't even buy. They ask me for money for a doughnut or something from a bakery. I don't allow myself to go out to eat much at all due to finances. How's come they feel comfortable asking me for money to do it? I don't want to accidently get tied up with someone as depressing as my ex-boyfriend. He makes me feel guilty for not wanting to spend time with him. I want to help people including him. But, I don't know how since he doesn't seem to use the help that he has.
I hope I haven't offended anyone. I am not trying to imply that people with a mental health issue is always no good as friends. I do find my ex-boyfriend to be more understanding of my squirrelyness. It's just that he doesn't seem to have the ability to respect my need to try to relax before bedtime or my desire to have a day off from the my life sucks and I need a wife now diatribe. I want someone to hug me sometimes. I want to have a friend that is happy sometimes.
Well, maybe this life crises will get by and we can get back to talking about other things. I wish I could convince him to call me once a week and then I think I would be better able to be sympathetic towards his problems.