In my upbringing, I was always taught that forgiveness is done for myself so that I can hopefully find some peace. It really has nothing to do with showing any kind of approval for what someone has done. There are people in my life who have been absolute monsters. They don't care about what they have done, nor have they apologized. But forgiving them is not contingent on either one. I choose to forgive so that I don't continue to be eaten up inside.

I also agree with what Granite said. I think forgiveness is not necessarily a once and for all event. I may forgive my abuser, but then a new memory comes up or something triggers me, and I go through the process again.

I haven't struggled too much with a need for self forgiveness. Some, but I was able to wrap my head around that fairly easily for the most part.

I kind of see forgiveness and healing as going hand in hand for me. It is a process of finding some peace with myself and my life. Not easy though at all. I really struggled with forgiveness when I was younger, but it has become easier as I've come to understand it better.