I am learning with my T to try to remove those negative voices (mother voices with positive affirmations). Every time I start talking about - or having a traumatic memory - or even just thinking of - the wicked witch, I stop breathing. My T helped me to see that. I didn't know I was doing it.

So now, if it comes up, I do affirmations and breathing ... which then leads to bawling (it hurts so much). but it's better than lightheaded and devastated / paralyzed with sadness and anger.

But I also feel a little relieved and empowered (especially when I leave our session cuz I actually got to be angry/hurt with someone IRL that cares).

Progress.