I am sorry you are in pain. It's so good you are reaching out to others and sharing!

You mentioned you once were happy but no more. Did something happen? a specific event that sparked your sadness? Also, you mentioned hurting yourself (?)

Perhaps you could write a letter to your parents and share with them how unhappy you are, and feel as if you need to speak with someone outside the family / friendships that has some experience (such as a T)

You are not alone and there is no need to suffer alone.