Anyhow . . . My T's thing is that other than my father, no one has ever apologized for the stuff they did to me, first. Second, no one involved has any intention of doing anything differently in the future. Therefore, "forgiveness" is not one of the options. There is grief for the losses involved, and acceptance at some point, and hopefully an awareness of why it isn't MY fault. But no forgiveness. If I wish to forgive them, fine, but it's not something we even strive for in therapy.