I am a mom to 2 girls, and I didn't start having significant problems parenting until shortly after having my 2nd. Things quickly became much more complicated, emotional, and I struggled a lot with my behavior.

To be brutally honest, had I known about my BPD before, I would have listened better to my strong hesitation to have kids. I have always been very uncomfortable around children, and didn't want to F up my kids. I was always terrified that I would F them up, since I had such an abnormal childhood. Didn't want to pass that on. I still don't, of course! But, it's real hard to regulate my emotions & not have outbursts. My girls and I are at the same level of emotion, which can cause a lot of unnecessary drama.

I do love my girls, but I hate myself.