Well, I never felt truly loved. I didn't really trust my mom (and my dad was just the typical dad always working back then). Mom would say that I was so wonderful, blah, blah, but I couldn't believe her. I picked up very young that Mom says one thing, but her words are not to be believed.

For instance, my sister is not my mom's biologically. My mom said that she loved us equally back then, but she was full of baloney, and we knew it! I picked up on this tension and resentment between my sister and mom as long as I can remember. I could not accept the "love" that Mom bestowed upon me. #1. I couldn't believe that she truly meant it. #2. I thought that Mom was a really crummy mom to my sister ~ and felt guilty for any extra attention that was given to me.

Does that term make more sense now?