Very very few people intentionally hurt others. We think it is intentional because it is directed at us and we are concentrating on "us" and not looking at the larger picture. Just changing whether you think they do/do not hurt you on purpose will not change the situation; you need to discuss the situation with the person you feel is treating you badly and stop them from doing so/being able to do so.

If you suspect your family member has a medical condition/autism, ask them if they will see a doctor or talk to someone who can take them to the doctor and suggest it.