So I am actually starting to get frustrated with this, and I feel like its leading to compulsion activities trying to get rid of my thoughts.
I'm having obsessive thoughts that a girl is my soul mate, it has changed girls maybe 3-4 times in the past. I'm 18 and I know teenagers have hormones, but I feel like this is far beyond normal. Right now its this girl that I have been aware of for a while, but I'm pretty sure we have never even talked to each other. The last class I had with her it slowly started to get worse and worse. I notice she touches the walls when she is walking down the hallway the same way I do. We are both extremely quite and shy, we act the same socially, facial expressions, tone, movements ect.. I notice that when the class is up waiting to leave we are both away from people looking at posters on the wall and such. It really bothers me when a boy would start talking to her also, it constantly tortured me.

Sometimes I feel like we are communicating telepathically or what I call telempathy, emotional communication or understanding. I believe a real soul mates can communicate just by understanding each other.

I've been trying to stop these thoughts, I dropped the class I had with her but I still find myself thinking about her when I'm not being compulsive (usually I play video games from the moment I get home to when I go to bed)
In school I will do something like spin a pencil around my fingers for sometimes hours. I don't feel the need to do it as much anymore, I started using nicotine (chew) and I find that it helps control my thoughts quite a bit. But lately my mouth has just been getting beaten up by it, I think I almost have a dip in more then I don't. Also I pick my face alot, dermatilioma, when I think about her or when I'm not doing something like chewing or playing games.

Today I freaked out... It just went to far, I went to the library to do some quick research pick a computer according to wear I feel most comfortable. You can see who was last logged in on each computer, and of course it was her. So then I keep thinking it can't be a coincidence and such.. I keep getting the urge to carve her name into my desk.

Here I am, plan Z, looking for help... This is the most embarrassing thing ever for me, so much that I want to post this and never read it again...

Also I think it's important to ad that once again I am not a typical teenager raging with hormones... The desire isn't sexual, I'm as a-sexual as a teenager gets. It's more like... I want to be companions with her, I want to sit by her, and hold her ****ING HAND.... ( now I was just sitting with my head face down on my laptop because this **** makes me want to rip my ****ing brain out).
I WANT TO FORGET ABOUT HER AND NEVER DEAL WITH THESE OBSESSIONS ABOUT ANY GIRL AGAIN*********** (time to put in a dip)...