Some extra fragments:

I've climbed my mountain and now I'm enjoying the view from the top. I'm a good mountain climber but enjoying the view is a new thing.

When I started with T, I wanted more than she could ever give. I wanted compensation for the my past sufferings.

Some things I wanted, I knew were impossible, eg T adopting me. I knew that was just fantasy. But there were others that seemed reasonable. Why shouldn't T hug me more often? Why shouldn't I come in through the front door? I was slow to accept that these weren't going to happen. And it was easier to see what I was denied than to see what I had been given.