It is so hard trying to work with a boss and co-workers who don't understand PTSD and think I use it as a way to get out of work. I have never not done my job or what was requested of me because of PTSD. Ex military just don't do that. We were trained to suck it up and do our jobs. If we didn't we could be responsible for our buddies being killed or wounded. I have explained the PTSD and some of my triggers, such as when I travel for work and I have the far eastern portion of Montana, I have too much time to think which causes me get aniexty. At one point I was suppose to be in a town but it was like I woke up in a different town an hour south of where I was suppose to be. Has this every happened to anyone else. Hotels are especially bad for me, especially the dark and small mom and pop hotels that are found throughout eastern Montana. Twice now I have found myself under the bed and once in the bathtub in the hotels. I just don't feel safe and the least little noise can cause major panic.

Three years ago the boss promised me that we would rotate the routes but it has never happened.

Today one of my co-workers and the boss were trying to push my buttons and get me angry. You admit you have a weakness and they use it against you. The boss is a bully we have lost 8 workers in the three years she has been there. I need the job to pay off student loans so I can't leave, but here are some days when I just want to go on a rampage and destroy everything in my path related to this job. I know I have problems with authority figures whom I have no respect for. Does anyone else have work issues.

Sorry for rambling, the PTSD has taken over today and I'm just trying to make sense of everything. Thanks for letting me ramble. Like Alexander in book think I'll move to Australia