Hi 23andlost , I dont really know at this point what i could say to you, that would make you feel better, but i want you to know, that you do not have to go through this alone, sometimes , just being able to talk to people on this site can be helpfull.
I can relate also to a lot of what you have said about how you are feeling, except for the sexual part of what you are talking about. I can only imagine how it must be for you at such a young age and i do hope you can get the medical treatment you need.
I sincerly wish you the very best and remember if you need to express your feelings, feel free to talk on this site. Do take care.