I chickened out of even talking further about it. I think she knew that I am too chicken to even bring it up. T is going on vacation and it will be around three weeks before we talk again. GRRRR! I felt rather sorry for her. She tried to find a positive thing or two (more good grades and my clothes to complement) and I just looked at her sadly. I posted a bit of the reason why under relationships which I didn't mention to her either. I don't know why. I just didn't seem to do very good because I couldn't stand to ask the depression question.
I'm a hypocrit. It's okey for others to take anti-depressants/talk to a T etc. But, if I do so, I'm messed up or weak.
I am studying to be an addiction counselor and I can't even do something that I may find myself asking a future client to do. What kind of counselor would I make if I can't even get myself to do what is probably in my best interest?
How the blazes could I ever suggest hospitalization to a client if the thought of talking to a Pdoc is enough to make me have trouble sharing in therapy?
Sometimes, I think God is trying to teach me how to be empathetic to future clients by giving me a little "hands on training" if you will. Other times, I think this Gods way of saying that I am not fit to counsel others despite my good grades.