Hello All,

I am very new to these kinds of postings and even more so to the effects of depression. I am very depressed, have been told that I am moderately OCD, Anxious, Schizoid, and ADD. I am single never married, and have recently started dating a girl (4 months ago). I thought this one was going to last. All I want out of life is to have a home with a beautiful wife, a few beautiful childred and a couple of Boxers running around. Thats all I want, no fancy house, or fancy car. Just a loving family who I can come home to every night. Can you tell I am partial to Boxers? I have been able to keep all these mental disorders bottled up for the longest time keeping me normal, but at the cost of being alone. For the most part I was happy alone with my Dog Sarge, but there were times when I missed someone. I told myself and others that I didnt want a girl, or need one, and that marriage was not for me. Well it is for me, and when I met this new girl, I started seeing a therapist to get straightened out. The first one didnt work so I am on my second whom I really like. I am only hoping that I didnt wait too long. I am also seeing a Psychiatrist who started me on Straterra for ADD which didnt work, then he put me on Concerta for ADD which didn't work, not I am on Welbutrin for depression and Ativan for anxiety. My girlfriend and I are currently taking a hiatus from each other, which I fully understand. She is great and has the potential to be the one, but only if I get my self fixed up. However, she does have her own demons I must say. My thoughts are getting pulled in so many different directions from these multiple disorders I am dealing with. I am very sad and confused about what to do. I would love nothing more than to stay with her and look to her for support because if it is not here I have noone. My Mom and Sis are good, but I want someone who will give me a hug and a kiss and tell me everything will be alright. Someone to hold me at night to keep the sadness and fears at bay so I can be happy. I am so excellent with kids I know I would be a great father, and my goal in life is to find one girl and pamper and make her the most loved person on the planet, and I can do it. When I am with someone, she gets all my attention. Backrubs after a long day in the office, glass of wine and a hot bath, anything to make her life easier. I know I am in for a long time of therapy and probably drugs, but I think that road would be much better if I had someone by my side besides the 4 legged pooping machine who is such a saving grace. I talk to him so much about what is going on and get the best rewards. He crawls on my lap and looks at me with those "I am a dog but I understand", eyes, gives me a lick or two and for a short time I am good. My Schizoid tendencies cause me to avoid social interaction so I am looking for some support and hopefully making a few friends along the way. I would really love a womans perspective on this. I would really appreciate some help!!! Thanks so very much.

Mike