Thank you both for your kind and supportive posts.

Likewater I've heard of that book but never read it so I will look out for it. I'm glad you were able to realise how bad your experiences were. My T thinks my experiences were pretty bad but it's very difficult (for me anyway) to categorise them as this, that or the other. I see what you mean about it not being about comparisons. I guess I feel I shouldn't be feeling the way I do which is madness I know as feelings are feelings.

Mortimer -Thank you, too. Yes I understand your feelings very well. It's hard when there's good and bad experiences to draw on. The emptiness is a very strong feeling for me. I'm sorry you were SA and do understand how it can make you feel different to those who were SA by fathers even though the effects are the same. I guess I feel guilty because my parents seem so loving in many ways and people like them, especially my mother. They don't realise just how unboundaried and scary my upbringing was. That causes me to doubt myself and my experience. But then I wonder why I got so attached to people and still have such an obsessive craving for love and affection if my childhood was okay. My mother said I got loads of hugs but I don't remember one that didn't feel shameful and unsafe.

Rambling now...thanks for understanding.