I still haven't called my doc yet to say i'm depressed. Don't really see the point. If I were getting treated it won't really fix anything.

1. Currently unemployed. Second lay off in 5 years. First time lasted 19 months. At 9 months and counting on this one. That hundreds of applications. I don't think anyone around me understands what being told "No we don't want you" that many times does to a person.

2. My family has no respect for me and doesn't care what happens to me. That's my own fault. Never should have come home when i got out of the military. I was in the military about a year before i stopped having the nightmare about my family trying to kill me. The nightmares were triggered by what they did to me during the day. What made me think they would ever love me? (another version of "no we don't want you")

3. Plastic people and fake friends. I'm not sure I've ever had a real friend. There was a group of people I've been hanging around for almost 2 years. Sunday that all came to an end. Been getting some rude and disrepectful behavior directed at me recently. Tried to ask our little "group leader" for help. Figured he was a good place to start since he was doing it too. He sent me an email stating he did nothing wrong and go away. This was after he talked with some members of the group. I thought these were my friends. I was so wrong. Friends would have included me in the discussion. Friends would have respected me. (yep "no we don't want you")

4. I've always been the dog people kick when they have a bad day. No one has ever loved me or cared about me. When i die no one will care or miss me. Once upon a time I thought i was smart and had value. Truth is I'm worthless and stupid. People have been trying to tell me the truth for years. I was just to dumb to understand. I used to sing "I am woman, hear me roar". Now its I am woman = I am nothing.