I remember a few times when I felt more vulnerable to T that I would take extra care to be/feel put-together...wear a 'power' color or whatever or a particularly nice necklace. I guess I did always want to look good, basically for self-respect.....not that I dressed way UP or anything, but I generally wanted to look decent and be comfortable, too. T1 always was very stylish, well-dressed, nice jewelry, etc., and I didn't think I had to match that, but I also sort of felt like it would somehow increase that stupid power differential/inequality thingy if I showed up sloppy. With T2, it didn't matter so much.....she wasn't as elegant/stylish a dresser, more casual/comfortable. I suppose there is the fact that I had more of a desire to look better for T1 than T2, because of that erotic attachment stuff......
I don't think it's shallow to want to dress well or at least feel like we look good/stylish. Appearances do matter/have influence. It's one of those things though that could cross into shallowness/vanity if it starts mattering TOO much, takes up too much thought/time, etc.
I'm not a total clotheshorse, but I do like to have clothes that look good on me too, that are flattering to me.....but I am not going to sacrifice comfort/modesty for vanity's sake, either.