Let me tell you I can identify so much with what you are saying reguarding the abuse and submission. It was NEVER God's will for this to happen to you or anybody else that abuse happened to. In my belief, things like this happen b/c there is "bad" in this world, we are in a fallen world.

I think, you are looking into submission too much. Yes, God wants us to submit to his will. However, he has always given us free will. The most important decesion I think God wants you to make is to have a relationship with him.. The other stuff will follow. I don't think that God has this path marked out in permenate marker for every single one of us that we have to follow to a T. No, I think as we develop in relationship with Him. Reading the Bible, praying, worshipping, fellowshipping with other believers.. His will becomes clear.. I think we naturally just start to follow in it as we develop in relationship w/Him.

This is all my own beliefs.. I hope I could just give you a different insight to your questions and concerns. Hang in there!!