My ex (wife really) has decided to divorce me and in our state we have to be separated fro 1 year. Unfortunately right now I'm still paying for all of the financial expenses including both apartments, utilities and other things. She says she is trying to find a job and can't but i'm panicking because it's gotten more expensive even for my upper middle income. I don't know how to split things fairly and I don't know how to get out of the trap where she controls me through dependence. She is acting like I'm the bad guy in the situation because I'm planning to let them take the car that was hers at one point (not technically as I never put in her name) and she uses that kind of stuff to keep me from doing anything. She uses "oh you're gonna take that from me too?" and "you gave me a life of hell for... years, if you want to be mean I can be a b* too" and I'm afraid since I'm the husband, I'll pretty much guarantee to get the short end of the stick.

is this all common and what do I do?